You’re Attracting the Wrong Men—And Your Wardrobe Might Be to Blame
Photo by Fatjon Shullazi from Pexels
Ever feel like you keep attracting the same type of man, but not in a good way? The kind who has big dreams but no job, the one who thinks “dating” means you picking him up, or the guy who says he’s “not looking for anything serious”—even though you never asked?
What if I told you your wardrobe might be part of the problem?
Before you panic—this is not about dressing for a man. It’s about making sure what you wear reflects who you actually are instead of accidentally signaling the opposite. Think of your outfit like a trailer to the movie that is your life—if it’s not aligned with the storyline, you’re attracting the wrong audience.
Let’s break down who you want, who you’re attracting, and what your wardrobe might have to do with it.
The “Laid-Back, Easygoing” Look That’s Landing You the Guy Who Doesn’t Plan Dates
Photo by Eliza Aldea
Who You Want: A man who actually makes an effort—calls instead of texting “wyd,” books reservations, and doesn’t think watching Netflix together counts as quality time.
Who You’re Getting: A guy who texts at 10 p.m. talking about “You up?” and truly believes “going with the flow” means you doing all the work.
Maybe you love dressing effortlessly—tees, sneakers, nothing too fussy. But if your wardrobe says you don’t care too much, maybe he won’t either.
Ever notice how women who look like they expect to be taken seriously often get treated that way? Meanwhile, if your look is giving “cool with anything,” you might keep ending up with men who assume that includes not putting in effort.
Just something to think about.
The “I Have It All Together” Look That’s Scaring Off Men Who Want to Provide
Photo by god picture
Who You Want: A confident, secure man who appreciates your independence but still wants to take care of you in his own way.
Who You’re Getting: The corporate guy who wants to “split everything 50/50” like you’re business partners instead of dating.
Your wardrobe says you don’t need help. Strong silhouettes, structured outfits, clean lines—basically, if your outfit had a LinkedIn profile, it would say “self-sufficient, does not require assistance.”
And that’s fine—until you realize you’re only attracting men who expect you to be okay with doing it all yourself.
No one is saying you need to suddenly dress “softer,” but if your wardrobe gives no indication that you enjoy being pursued, protected, or treated with care, it makes sense that you’d keep meeting men who don’t feel the need to step up.
Something to think about.
The “I’m Fun, I Swear” Look That’s Only Attracting Professional Time-Wasters
Photo by Daniel Duarte
Who You Want: A man who actually sees you as relationship material—not just someone to have a good time with.
Who You’re Getting: Men who say “I’m just enjoying life right now” when you ask where this is going.
If your wardrobe is all about making a statement, turning heads, and showing up like you own the place, you’ll definitely get noticed. But are you getting noticed by the right men?
There’s a difference between being attractive and being seen as someone to take seriously. The women who always seem to attract the men who put in effort, plan real dates, and treat them like a priority? They aren’t necessarily the most out there—they’re the ones who look like they already know they’re worth it.
If you’re attracting men who only text when they’re bored and act like plans are optional, does your wardrobe make it clear that’s not what you’re here for?
Something to think about.
The “Cool-Girl, Whatever” Look That’s Giving “I Don’t Need Anything From You”
Photo by Marina Stathakis
Who You Want: A man who shows up, is emotionally available, and actually puts effort into dating you.
Who You’re Getting: Men who believe a six-hour playlist exchange is the same thing as quality time.
You love a low-key, cool aesthetic. Maybe it’s vintage tees, oversized everything, undone hair—the “I just threw this on” look. And that’s great.
But does your wardrobe also make it clear that you expect to be taken seriously? Because there’s a difference between being chill and being so chill that men assume they don’t actually need to step up.
If your dating life consists of too many “hangouts” and not enough “dates,” it might be worth asking: Does my style say I’m okay with this dynamic?
Just something to think about.
The “Neutrals, Basics, and Blending In” Look That’s Keeping You Invisible
Photo by K2 Production
Who You Want: A man who sees you, pursues you, and makes an effort.
Who You’re Getting: No one. Because no one even realizes you’re open to dating.
Maybe you love simplicity—classic pieces, nothing too flashy, nothing too trendy. And that’s fine—except if your wardrobe is so understated that no one even notices you.
Men aren’t mind readers. If your outfits don’t signal that you’re open, interesting, and ready to engage with the world, it makes sense that no one is making a move.
Something to think about.
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